Sri Deva Sthanam

Where Faith and Scholarship Meet

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The South Indian Wedding

The South Indian Wedding  

Introduction to Hinduism

Hindus believe in the existence of a Supreme Being. This Being is described in the Vedas (scripture) as “unmanifest, unthinkable, and unchanging.” The Supreme Being manifests in this world in different forms and at different times as Rama, Krishna, Vishnu, Shiva, etc. Hindus also believe that the soul is divine and eternal. It is neither created nor destroyed, but is reborn through many lifetimes in this world. When a soul has found release from this cycle of rebirth is it said to have achieved liberation (moksha).

Hindus also accepts all religions as true and valid paths to God. In theBhagavad Gita, Shri Krishna says, “Whenever there is a decline indharma (righteousness) and an increase in adharma (unrighteousness), at that time I manifest Myself.” In this way, all religions are seen as the manifestation of the Divine into this world.

The Hindu Wedding

The traditional Hindu wedding is a deeply meaningful and symbolic combination of rituals and traditions. It is a ceremony that is about 4000 years old. Each phase of the ceremony has a symbolic, philosophical, and spiritual meaning. The ceremony not only to joins the souls of the bride and groom, but also creates a strong tie between two families. The ceremony is traditionally performed in Sanskrit, which is the language of ancient India and Hinduism. Today the ceremony will be performed both in Sanskrit and English. The following sequence of rituals represents the highlights of the ceremony.

The Sanskrit word for marriage is vivaha, which literally means “what supports or carries.” The Vivaha ceremony is therefore a sacred ceremony meant to create a union that supports and carries a man and woman throughout their married life in the pursuit of righteousness (dharma).

Gauri Puja

In a separate location Ganesha puja and Gauri puja are performed in the presence of the bride. This puja is performed to remove obstacles and to bring good fortune to the bride. The bride offers prayers to the goddess Gauri seeking the blessings of prosperity and a long and happy married life. This puja also includes Raksha Bandhanam for the protection of the bride.

Avahanam/Sankalpam

The groom and his family are greeted by the bride’s family and guests. The priest begins the wedding ceremony by invoking the presence of God and the divinities to witness the marriage and bless the occasion.

Ganapati Puja

The wedding ceremony begins with the worship of Lord Ganesha, the remover of all obstacles and the provider of good luck. His presence is invoked to insure the successful completion of the wedding ceremony. Other pujas are also performed to invoke the presence of other forms God to preside over the wedding ceremony.

Punyaha-vachanam and Yagnopavitra Dharanam

Prayers are recited to sanctify the water used during the ceremony. Holy water is sprinkled to purify the location. The groom receives a sacred thread signifying the beginning of family life. (optional)

Raksha Bandhanam

A red thread is tied to the groom’s right wrist to protect him from any evil influences during the ceremony.

Kashi Yatra

For a higher spiritual purpose the groom is given a final opportunity to leave before the bride enters. He is asked if he would like to abandon worldly life and lead the life of an ascetic. The father of the bride requests the groom not to leave, but to stay and marry his daughter.

Vara Puja

The groom is received with respect by the bride’s parents.  The parents of the bride may wash the feet of the groom.

Bride Enters

The bride enters the wedding hall while a cloth is held in front of the groom so that he cannot see her. During the bride’s entry auspicious music is played (usually nada-svaram).

Lagnastakam

After the bride enters she sits in the wedding mandapam facing the groom. The bride and groom each place a paste made of cumin seeds and jaggery on each other’s head with their right hands. After some prayers the cloth is removed and the bride and groom see each other for the first-time.

Jaya Mala

The bride and groom exchange garlands indicating their acceptance of each other.

Exchange of Gifts

The bride and groom now exchange gifts. Usually new clothes are offered to both the bride and groom. The bride may leave and get dressed in a new sari at this time while snacks are served to the guests. (optional)

Kanya Danam

Kanya Danam literally means the “giving of the bride”. The parents of the bride place hands of their daughter into the hands of the groom. The bride’s parents ask the groom to except their daughter as his equal partner throughout life.

Vivaha Homam

The great messenger of the gods, Agnidevata (the fire god), is invoked to witness the proceedings. The priest lights a sacred fire in the presence of the bride and groom. Throughout the ceremony, the priest adds ghee, clarified butter, to the fire to keep it burning. Rice and other ingredients are also added to the fire at various times.

Pani Grahanam

The bride and groom hold hands as a symbol of their union.

Granthi Bandhanam

The bride and groom exchange seats so that the bride is now sitting to the left of the groom.  One corner of groom’s shawl is tied to the end of the bride’s sari.  This signifies the union of two souls. 

Aajya Homam

The groom places offerings of ghee into the sacred fire, asking for the protection of the bride.

Ashma Kramana/ Laaja Homam

The bride places her right foot onto a stone and with the assistance of her brothers makes offerings of puffed rice into the sacred fire, asking for the protection of her husband. The stone symbolizes the earth. The act of placing the bride’s foot upon the stone means that she should become strong and fixed like the earth.

Druva and Arundhati Darshana

The bride and groom gaze up at the pole star (Druvaloka) and meditate on stability in the marriage union. Each night as the stars rotate in the sky, the pole star always remains fixed. In the same way as life is constantly changing the union of the bride and groom should remain fixed like the pole star, Druvaloka. Arundhati is the wife of the great sage Vashistha. Arundhati and Vashistha are stars in the big dipper (sapta rishi).

Pradakshinam

The bride and groom walk around the holy fire four times, symbolizing the walk of life. Human life is seen to have four great goals calledpurusharthas: dharma, artha, kama and moksha. The bride leads the groom through the first three rounds while the groom leads the bride through the last round. The first round represents the attainment ofdharma, or righteous conduct and the fulfillment of civic and religious responsibilities. The second round is for the attainment of artha, the accumulation of wealth and prosperity. This leads to the third round, which is for the attainment of kama, life’s enjoyments. Finally, the bride and groom exchange places and the groom leads the bride around the fire on the fourth round enacting the attainment of moksha, life’s spiritual values.

Mangalya Dharanam/Ring Exchange

The groom gives the bride a mangala sutra, a necklace made of gold that includes two talis or emblems representing each family. The mangala sutra identifies a lady as a married woman. The mangala sutra is the equivalent of the wedding rings, which may also be exchanged at this time.

Saptapadi

The bride and groom take seven steps together, symbolizing the beginning of their journey through life as partners. These seven steps reflect their guiding principles in life. As they take each step, the bride and groom exchange the following vows:

Together we will:

Share in the responsibility of the home

Fill our hearts with strength and courage

Prosper and share our worldly goods

Fill our hearts with love, peace, happiness, and spiritual values

Be blessed with loving children

Attain self-restraint and longevity

Be best friends and eternal partners

Declaration

The bride and groom make an oath to each other declaring that they love each other and will remain devoted to each other through all times.

Upon the completion of the seven steps and the declaration, the bride and groom are officially considered husband and wife.

Purusha Sukta Homam

The priest chants an ancient hymn of praise to God while the couple places offerings of rice and ghee into the fire. This act of worship is the couple’s first act of dharma as husband and wife.

Talambralu

The bride and groom pour rice over each other’s head symbolizing prosperity.

Prasadam

The newly married couple feed each other sweets representing their first meal together.

Ashirvad

The priest gives blessings to the couple. The newly married couple then seeks the blessings of the priest, family and friends. The family and friends bestow their blessings by showering them with flower petals.

 

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Another Form of Sraddha

Hindu Funeral Rites and Ancestor Worship [1]
Antyesti, Sraddha and Tarpana

6. Another Form of Sraddha 

I will conclude this article by mentioning a final variation to the sraddhaprocess, which is based on the ancient Pancaratra[1] tradition whose influence can be readily seen in the Mahabharata some of the Puranas.

A follower of Visnu is enjoined to perform the sraddha rites with the remnants of food first offered to Visnu. The Padma-purana enjoins that deities other than Visnu and the fathers may be propitiated with food that has been first offered to Visnu. In that same text Narada says, “Following the ordinances of the SattvataSchool, the devotees first worshiped Visnu, the God of gods, and with the remnants of such food worshiped the fathers.” In the Brahmanda-purana it is enjoined that the father’s remain gratified for thousands of kalpas with rice cakes mixed with sacred blossoms of tulasi, prepared with the remnants of food offered with devotion to Visnu. In the Skanda-purana, Siva says, “Food should first be offered to Visnu and then the very same food should be distributed to the minor deities and the fathers.” In the Purusottama-khanda of that same text, it is stated, “For avoiding defilement, the remnants of food offered to Visnu should be mixed with the rice cakes to be offered to the fathers. Food is rendered pure when sprinkled with the waters of the tulasi and when mixed with the food offered to Visnu.” In the course of a conversation between Brahma and Narada it has been made clear that the worship of Visnu alone is capable of releasing the fathers from the suffering of hell.” It is even stated that the performance of the sraddha rite is useless in the age of Kali without first worshipping Visnu.

This series of quotations from various Puranas reflects the Pancaratrika idea that through a person’s sole reliance on Visnu all things that a human being would otherwise have to do alone could be accomplished through the grace of God. The successful outcome of the sraddha process was therefore, not dependant on the power of the ritual, the expertise of the priest, precise timing, and availability of the articles, etc. but upon God alone. This approach involved the ‘handing over’ of the fate of the soul to God.

According to this approach, food or water that is offered to the pitrs is first offered to Visnu and thereby transformed into visnu-prasada. The wordprasada means “mercy” or “grace.” Thus visnu-prasada is God’s grace. Thisprasada of Visnu is then offered to the pitrs, who now receive God’s grace instead of mere food or water. In this way, the grace of God has the power to elevate and sustain the pitrs in a manner that no human power can match. In the case of a homa or havan, a ritual performed with fire, the fire is used as the “delivery system” by which Visnu is first offered food. This food offering, which is now God’s grace, is then offered to the pitrs through the fire. It is thus Agnideva, the fire God, who acts as the link between this world and the world of the pitrs.

Psychologically this approach to the sraddha process is very satisfying to grieving family members. The invocation of God’s grace to reach beyond human endeavor is indeed powerful.
Copyright © Sanskrit Religions Institute 2003.
All rights reserved.

 

Walker, Benjamin. Hindu World, An Encyclopedic Survey of Hinduism. In two volumes. New Delhi: Indus, 1968.

Shastri, Dakshina Ranjan. Origin and Development of the Rituals of Ancestor Worship in India. Bookland Private: Calcutta, 1963.

Saraswati, Swami Dayanand, translation by Vaidyanath Shastri. The Sanskar Vidhi. Sarvadeshik Arya Pratinidhi Sabha: New Delhi, 1985.

[1] The Pancaratra Agamas claim to be based on the üukla-yajur-veda (which is no longer extant) and purports to be of Vedic origin. The Pancaratra Agamas are extremely voluminous. The number of texts is in the hundreds, but the most ancient and authoritative Pancaratra texts are the Sattvata, Pauskara andJayakhya Samhitas.

 

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Pitr-yajna

Hindu Funeral Rites and Ancestor Worship [1]
Antyesti, Sraddha and Tarpana

4. Pitr-yajna

Pitr-yajna

Upon being established as a pitr the departed soul became fit for receiving the benefits of the numerous pitr-yajnas. The pitr-yajna is a kind of sraddhawherein one’s family ancestors as well as the general class of pitrs are worshiped. Hindu sastra prescribes a variety of such ceremonies.

Like the ekoddista rites these ceremonies involve the offerings of rice cakes (pinda), libations of water (tarpana), and oblations through fire (homa). Three rice cakes, one for each pitr, were generally employed. Some of the ceremonies were performed on specific days of the month and times of the year, namely new moon (amavasya) and during the dark half of the month of bhadrapada(pitr-paksa). For this reason they were sometimes called parvana rites.[1] Other varieties of these ceremonies are called kamya or sometimes vrddhi-sraddhasbecause they may be performed as desired for some specific purpose.[2]

Tarpana

We have made reference to the offering of libations of water during the sixteenekoddista-sraddhas. This process is called tarpana and along with the use of fire it is an essential component of the sraddha process. The word tarpana is derived from the Sanskrit root trp which means to please or to gratify. Tarpanais the act of pleasing (trpyanti pitaro yena). Specifically, tarpana is the act of pouring water through the hands with the use of sacred grass called kusa as a symbolic gesture of recognition, thanking and pleasing three classes of beings: gods, sages, and fathers. Usually the sraddha-tarpana is performed in conjunction with other rites. Water mixed with barley is sometimes poured through the hands as an offering to the gods. Water mixed with black sesame is poured through the hands as an offering to the pitrs. Different parts of the hand are used for pouring water when worshiping the different classes of beings. According to Manu, the area in the center of the palm is called the brahma-tirtha, the area below the little finger is called the prajapati-tirtha, the region at the tips of the fingers is called the daiva-tirtha, and the space between the bottom of the thumb and the index finger is called the pitr-tirtha. See the diagram. Devas should be gratified using the daiva-tirtha, rsis using theprajapati-tirtha, and pitrs using the pitr-tirtha.

During the tarpana ceremony, the sacrificial thread is worn in different positions around the shoulders and neck for worshiping the different classes of beings. A twice born is called upavitin when the sacred thread rests across the left shoulder, he is called nivitin when the sacred thread lies down straight from the neck, and he is called pracinavitin when the sacred thread rests across the right shoulder. The devas are to be worshipped in the upavitin position, the sages and exalted human beings in the nivitin position, and the pitrs in thepracinavitin position.

Similarly, different directions correspond to the different classes of beings. When offering libations of water to the gods, one turns the face towards the east, when offering to sages one turns the face towards the north, and when offering to the fathers one turns the face towards the south. These differences in thread, hand and face positions are used simply to distinguish the gods, the sages and the fathers from each other.

The general order in which tarpana is performed is as follows: First the devasare gratified, then the rsi, then the divine pitrs. After that, starting with the most recently deceased, those fathers who belong to the paternal are worshiped followed by those on the maternal side.

Later commentators attempt to explain why water is used during tarpana. Water is said to be a neutral substance, therefore it can most easily be converted into the various foods needed to satisfy the respective pitrs. For those ancestors who have entered heaven, nectar is said to be their food. For those ancestors who have entered into an animal species, grass may be their food. For those ancestors who had returned to this earthly realm, rice may be their food. Water, being a neutral substance, can easily be converted into nectar, grass or rice, etc.

The matter is also explained in another way. When a friend or relative presents food to a lady who is pregnant she eats the food and satisfies herself. At the same time the child within her womb is nourished. The food is converted into a substance suitable for the child. Similarly, when tarpana is offered to the divine fathers, they accept it by first gratifying themselves and then gratifying the fathers over whom they preside. Tarpana is perhaps the most important of thesraddha rites and can even substitute for the rest of the sraddha process.

Copyright © Sanskrit Religions Institute 2003.
All rights reserved.

[1] The word parvana refers to certain times within the lunar cycle, namely new moon, the eighth and fourteenth lunar days (tithis). These are times especially set aside for the pitr-yajna ceremonies.

[2] Vrddhi means increase. Kamya means “according to desire.” One such Vrddhi-sraddha was called thenandi-mukha-sraddha because a certain class of pitrs called nandi-mukhas are evoked and asked to bring prosperity and progeny to a marrying couple.